I think it’s safe to say we’ve ALL been that b*tch or that friend (in kinder words), who gives the best advice but can never take their own. What inspired me to write this post, is that I’ve been that b*tch before. Whether you unconsciously know you’re talking the talk without walking the walk or you’ve just woken up from your denial & have come to terms with the fact you’ve become that b*tch, I hope this blog post helps you in some way. I want it to be known, it’s okay to be that b*tch…but you don’t have to be her forever! Maybe you know you’re that b*tch & you’re cool with it, & that’s totally fine girl. But this blog post isn’t made for you, this post is for those b*tches in particular who want to change themselves & ultimately change their lives! (cause your life WILL change when you stop being that b*tch). So lace em up honey, cause we’re about to walk the talk, & it may be a long journey ahead- that all depends on you.
- First things first, before you can change this habit, yourself, & ultimately your life, you have to acknowledge the fact that you are indeed, that b*tch who doesn’t take her own advice. Whether you’re sometimes that b*tch or always that b*tch, either way you need to know she exist within you & you’re ready & committed to evict that b*tch from that beautiful mind & life of yours! It’s like AA or rehab, what’s the first step? Acknowledging you have an issue or a habit that’s dysfunctional. You can not change what you refuse to confront. For some, this step is easy, for others it’s hard. Acknowledging you have a bad habit can be difficult, it’s easier to brush it under the rug & pretend it doesn’t exist, but you’ll never reap the benefits of living an authentic life & being able to lead yourself through life with your own advice.
- Second, after acknowledging that this bad habit does exist, that we have become either somewhat or entirely that b*tch who doesn’t take her own advice, its time to commit to change. Again, for some this will be easy & for others it can be hard. Those who truly desire to reap the benefits of changing this aspect of their life will have an easier time making the commitment. When you’re starving it’s easy to commit to eating a full 5 course meal & then some, but when you have no appetite at all, a full 5 course meal can sound exhausting & way too much than what you want. If you have the hunger (desire) to change, it’s easy to make a commitment & keep it.
- Third, after gaining this self-awareness, making a commitment to change, it’s time to take action. I’m talking, massive action! Massive action as in, asking ourselves some uncomfortable & extremely thought-provoking questions. Getting real with yourself, laying out your fears, insecurities, doubts, & all those other ugly feelings we think are real, but aren’t. The only way to get life changing answers, is by asking the right questions.
What advice have I given previously, that I know in my heart applies to my life, but I’m not taking action on?
What am I currently going through, that I know I need to change, & I know how I need to change it, but I’m stalling on? Why am I stalling?
If I stepped out of my own body & became a good friend of mine, what advice would I give to myself to solve a problem or circumstance I’m going through?
How would I advise or coach my friend (myself) to over come their fears when executing change in their life or solving a problem?
What is holding me back from taking action on the advice I would give to myself if I were a close friend of mine? Can the things holding me back be changed?
Is what’s holding me back from taking my own advice fear driven? If so, where are these fears & where are they based from?
Am I relying too much on the opinions & advice of others when it comes to finding resolution to problems & circumstances in my life?
These are just a few thought-provoking questions that can start to provide a lot of clarity & direction for you, if you answer them honestly. You owe it to be honest with yourself, it’s what makes you an authentic person. Because if you can’t be real with yourself, you definitely can’t be real to anyone else. These questions may also prompt your own questions to yourself, considering everyone’s challenges & reasons for being that b*tch are different & situational. The more questions you ask yourself & answer honestly, the better. The answers are all deep within you, being told to you in that soft nagging voice that just won’t shut the F up that you continue to stifle & ignore. FYI, that soft nagging voice? Thats your gut & guess what? She know’s whats up & she can change your life, all you have to do is listen.
If your reasons for not taking your own advice are fear driven, you need to make a list of those fears, & next to it create a gains & losses column. What are the gain’s of me acknowledging this fear & over coming it? What are my losses if I give into the fear & decide not to change it? Once you’ve laid out all your fears, gains, & losses you will have a visual map & outline on the outcomes to decisions you may or may not make. The reality is, fears aren’t real. We create them in our mind, they are these self sabotaging barriers we build. They are self-limiting beliefs that feed mediocrity, they keep us stagnant, frozen, & complacent.
If we want change, we have to get off our cute asses & get our hands dirty. We have to dig deep within ourselves & ask ourselves some seriously heavy third party questions. The reality is, fear & the fear or feeling of being uncomfortable, brings us to new levels if we decide to not let it hold us back. New levels & resolutions are not made or found by doing the same sh*t over & over again. If nothing changes, nothing changes! New levels & resolutions are made & found by going through it, not around it.
Last but not least, execute! Analyze your answers, give your third-party advice to yourself, then execute. Whether you take massive action right away or take a few baby steps as you go, as long as your taking some type of action daily that’s inching you closer to resolution & clarity, you’re on your way to becoming that amazing authentic person you were created to be. Pace yourself if you have to, some changes truly take time, but it’s worth every step of the way. The fears you overcome, the problems you solve, the situations you change, & the authenticity you create along the way, will lead you to the happiness & fullness of your life you truly deserve.
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